...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
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Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
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The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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