I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
