do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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