Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
