you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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