I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
His nipple licking is glorious
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