I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she told me i tasted like america
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
