I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
