I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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