After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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