2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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