Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
