He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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