Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
