She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
