Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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