i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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