I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
