I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
