The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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