Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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