brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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