Swine flu. Run for my life!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
