Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
