Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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