How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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