i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
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I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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