I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
