Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
