I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
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Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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