so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
