I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
