I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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