woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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