I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
the raccoons are back...
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