ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
