can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home