Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
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this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?