Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..

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(352): View more from Florida

She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

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(708): View more from Illinois

i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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(631): View more from New York

i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon

(1-631): View more from New York

been there done that

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.

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(719): View more from Colorado

we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!

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(801): View more from Utah

I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight

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