dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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