I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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