fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize