She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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