Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
