My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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