I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
