She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
