dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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