were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
