Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
