I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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