I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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