last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
