She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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