Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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