you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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