She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
