Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
