fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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