whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
