she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
zippers are such a cool invention
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
