Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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