Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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