people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
