your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
